feet used to running

Which me shall I show You today?

Do You know the me in my room?
The one not smiling,
dampening pillows with tears,
lolling in sloth.

Do You know the me in the classroom?
Cracking jokes,
getting on with work,
sending 'proper adult' emails about timetables and rosters.

You know both me-s.

And unlike some,
You know both are me,
and when which ones,
are truer still,
and how,
and why.
I stand before You fully integrated,
better known by You than by myself.

It is a relief not to struggle,
to rest in Your total embrace,

and yet, I run,
and hide from Mercy's face,

because my feet are used to it.