Real text (to my sister):
A bit more of my broken tooth just broke off...! I feel this is the sort of thing one needs to share with someone. Guess what?! This is YOUR lucky day!! :-) It didn't hurt... Nor does it look rotten. Also, it means there's less of a hole to get food in/dig food out of with tongue. Mmm. So anyway... Yeah. There u go :-)
Subtext:
I am all alone, at night, with a broken tooth.
Real text (from NRMA):
Don't forget to renew your Roadside Assistance before 29/11/2012. If you haven't already paid, call 1300 300 381 or visit mynrma.com.au/renewal.
Subtext:
When you next drive out to the country, y'know, to visit the family or whatevs, YOU COULD DIE!! So pay us now.
Real text (to my friend):
Honest, today's the day I'll write down ur apartment number so I know which bell to ring!!
Subtext:
I am incompetent at life. LIFE!! How did that end up being a pass/fail?! You've lived here for ages, I've visited you multiple times, yet, I stand on your step, wondering if I can somehow cheat my way into the right apartment and save my shreds of dignity. Dammit. I cannot!!
Real prayer (to God):
Please be with &$#€¥. Help her to get through this awful day, and comfort her, and help her to keep trusting in you despite the ickiness of it all. Please hold her tight!!
Subtext:
Gaaaaaaaahhhh!!! If you don't sort this, I have no idea what I'm going to do. And yes, this is one of those days where I feel like a total idiot for even talking to you. Please help?
A bit more of my broken tooth just broke off...! I feel this is the sort of thing one needs to share with someone. Guess what?! This is YOUR lucky day!! :-) It didn't hurt... Nor does it look rotten. Also, it means there's less of a hole to get food in/dig food out of with tongue. Mmm. So anyway... Yeah. There u go :-)
Subtext:
I am all alone, at night, with a broken tooth.
Real text (from NRMA):
Don't forget to renew your Roadside Assistance before 29/11/2012. If you haven't already paid, call 1300 300 381 or visit mynrma.com.au/renewal.
Subtext:
When you next drive out to the country, y'know, to visit the family or whatevs, YOU COULD DIE!! So pay us now.
Real text (to my friend):
Honest, today's the day I'll write down ur apartment number so I know which bell to ring!!
Subtext:
I am incompetent at life. LIFE!! How did that end up being a pass/fail?! You've lived here for ages, I've visited you multiple times, yet, I stand on your step, wondering if I can somehow cheat my way into the right apartment and save my shreds of dignity. Dammit. I cannot!!
Real prayer (to God):
Please be with &$#€¥. Help her to get through this awful day, and comfort her, and help her to keep trusting in you despite the ickiness of it all. Please hold her tight!!
Subtext:
Gaaaaaaaahhhh!!! If you don't sort this, I have no idea what I'm going to do. And yes, this is one of those days where I feel like a total idiot for even talking to you. Please help?
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