have I not loved

I've flown there and back in one exhausting day
to weep, forlorn at a graveside.

I've waked and waited through watches of the night
willing sickness to turn.

I've prayed desperately and faithfully,
daily and yearly
that hearts will turn and be made flesh.

I've gasped in ecstatic joy,
cried in wrenching sadness,
laughed with humble mirth.

I've smiled at stories because I know someone I love will love them,
stored them up in memory to share,
to brighten or stimulate an Other's day.

Gathered tidbits to share,
made favourite dishes,
slaved in the preparation of special gifts.

I've waited patiently,
defended jealously,
watched enviously,
thirsted endlessly,

have I not loved?!!

Just because I haven't rolled roughly on rumpled sheets,
or promised fealty in public celebration.

Just because you see no biological evidence
and cannot see into the deeps of my heart.

Though I have not felt the pleasure of it,
I know what delight there must be,
in walking arm in arm,
in warm sun,
on fair path.

Though I have not tasted the pleasure of a kiss,
my minds mouth can conjure it,
and sup the bitterness of its ending.

I have loved.
I do love.
I will love.

You may never see it,
celebrate it,
give me gifts.

You may never organise a party
simply to congratulate me on it's length.

You may never note or mark it at all,

but have I not loved?